A short while ago we published a list (Top 10 HORRIFYING Facts You Didn’t Know About SAMURAI) all about the oft-romanticized samurai of feudal Japan were actually pretty awful. Today we’re turning our attention to the samurai of the west, medieval knights to explain why they too probably sucked a fat one despite pop culture’s best efforts to paint them as noble heroes who adhered to a strict policy of chivalry and being a totally awesome dude all of the time. For example, did you know that …
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10. They Barely Ever Had to Work
9. During Battle, They Were Highly Unlikely to be Killed
8. Chivalry Only Applied When They Wanted It To
7. Only Rich Kids Could Become Knights
6. Gathering in Big Groups, Picking Fights, and Harassing Women
5. Jousting Was Pay to Win
4. Women Couldn’t Become Knights, but Were Expected to Do the Job of Their Dead Husbands
3. Knights Could Nearly be Killed Trying to Woo a Woman
2. Knights Treated Serfs Just Terribly
1. Becoming a Knight Used to Mean Being Slapped Across the Face