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To Date On or Offline? That Is The Question.

September 12, 2014

Remember when Todd met Alexander at the local supermarket and they locked eyes with one another?  They exchanged smiles and glances. Their hearts were racing, palms were sweating and then the game of chicken began. Who was going to make the first move? Would it be Todd? Maybe it would be Alexander?….But what happens if the unthinkable happens and neither of them make a move? The night will end and the thoughts: ‘What if’, ‘If only’ and ‘If I just’ haunts their minds like a ghost seeking revenge upon the living.

Today’s dating scene has changed drastically. Now, if Todd cannot find Alexander in that market or around the neighborhood, he can go to the ‘Missed Connections’ page on Craigslist, describe the encounter and pray to every God, that Alexander stumbles upon it.

Now what about everyone else still looking for romance and have never went through an encounter like Todd and Alexander? Well, there are dating sites-too many to list- that can help connect individuals to their potential ‘Mr. Right’ or ‘Mr. Right-Now’. Yet people are still reserved about using dating sites in this modern day.

Openly gay British singer/songwriter Sam Smith did an interview with Metro and stated that dating sites are actually ‘ruining romances’. He continued on, “We’re losing the art of conversation and being able to go and speak to people”. He does understand it’s easier said than done, right?

In my eyes, dating sites are like innocent ice breakers. You log on, look at pictures, read a profile hoping to gain some sense of their personality and if interested you send them a message and see where it goes from there.

Encounters offline aren’t easy to achieve, unless you have ‘I am Gay’ tattooed on your forehead-if you do kudos to you- and if you don’t we’ll have to use our ESP instead. Of course, if you attend a gym, sauna and/or locker room, offline encounters can be very easy to attend—so I’ve heard.

Online dating pulls back the green curtains to reveal the “wizard”, they take away our nerves of making the first move and showcasing-for some- a horrible first impression; and sadly it helps us curb our fear of rejection.  Sure, the MTV show Catfish, probably isn’t the best example of online dating; but it does help us understand how we should tread lightly when confronted with a person online who seems too good to be true. In that case, do what I do and ask them a whole bunch of questions about their pictures, videos if they have online and what not; to prove their real identity. {I can tell you now, I have Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and even Soundcloud {I’m a singer/songwriter too shhhhhhhh}, so you can bet top dollars I’m the real deal.}

Getting back on track here, whether offline or on we should dip our toes in the dating pool before diving head first. Sure, Sam Smith is successful and his debut album was certified platinum and gold-overseas- but he is still very young. Oh gosh, I’m starting to sound like my grandmother now!  He’s twenty two years old and yes, he’s dating someone now because they met offline but he shouldn’t assume those who turn to online alternatives lose focus on what real conversations are.

Take Daniel, 35 from the West Village. He met his boyfriend Kyle on the cellphone app Grindr and they’ve been dating for a year and a half now. When asked what attracted him to Kyle online he responded, “His smile. I saw his default picture and it was him and his three year old Yorkie. But this hazel eyed man, won me over not by posing shirtless, or showing his sock endowed trunks, but instead a simple, cheesy picture of him smiling with a dog. Isn’t that something?” He explained how they exchanged text messages with each other for a week before meeting at the Pride Parade here in New York City-somewhere public is always ideal to meet anyone online for the first time, my pretties.

It was there when they were face to face, their hearts became one and they’ve been inseparable ever since.

I spoke to another man named Giono from New Hampshire, who met his husband of three years at a friend’s party. “My best friend had been dying to set me up with this guy from her job. I kept on procrastinating because I hate set ups. I was having a drink when I noticed this handsome man staring at me from across the room, he walked toward me and my heart literally stopped beating for a few seconds. He made a corny joke about leaves and trees and we hit it off right away.”

So, my pretties, it doesn’t matter if you prefer to meet guys’ offline or online you just have to remember one thing. There is someone out there for everyone, you just have to go into the ‘dating pool’ with an open mind and you never know who you encounter.

Xoxoxoxoxoxxo ~ EdwinB.

Author: ejb326

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